You've been there for me through thick and thin. I don't think I would have made it this far if it hadn't been for your comforting presence. Whenever I have a bad day, I know I can come home, lay down, and let you hold me until I feel strong enough to take on the world again. We've been together practically since I was born and I feel as if we've grown with one another.
But I have something to say.
It's not you. It's me.
No, no, don't cry. This happens to all couples, right? Sometimes people just grow apart and I feel as if we've been doing that for the last couple of years. There's nothing inherently wrong about that; facts are facts. I just wish it didn't have to end this way.
As much as it pains me to say this, it's over.
Music and I are on the outs. Well, specifically, the music industry. As hard as I've tried to keep it together and see the light at the end of the tunnel, there's just no way of denying that I am too darn old to deal with this foolishness anymore. I mean, the fire still burns inside me and the desire to have at least one relevant interest is just as strong, but man, trying to keep up with everything is draining. There's not much to hang your hat on these days, unfortunately.
Producer/rappers: I actually don't begrudge anyone chasing their dream, so the fact that there have been several producers (Swizz Beatz, Timbaland, and Sean Garrett, among others) attempting to get their solo on isn't too disturbing. I mean, it's a little annoying, as that record contract could have went to a struggling musician, but I can rationalize them putting out music. I just hate that none of them are any good at it (minus Missy Elliott, but she's been absent from the rap scene for a minute) and can't seem to wrap their egos around that fact. Okay, an example. I love tennis; I've adored it, major tournaments are often a time I sit around my television with pure glee, and I defend it every chance I get. I even went out for the tennis team in high school and in a nutshell, I was awful. It was a wonderful workout and I had a blast when I played, but I was genuinely a really bad player. I realized this, saw that my game was not improving no matter how hard I worked, and I hung it up. I still love tennis/play for fun and I wrote at a sports blog for a while, but I don't feel the need to play competitively. Just sayin'.
Same guests on EVERY album: Mainstream music is, for the most part, rather redundant. I know that there are only a certain number of producers and guest stars deemed to be commercially viable enough to be worth a slot on a record and this is, after all, a music business. But seriously, can we get a little variety? If Nicki Minaj's Wikipedia entry is to be believed, the Young Money emcee has been featured on 35 songs in 2010, with eight of them being singles. Couple that with three singles from her solo album and it is pure overkill. Throw in Ludacris (21 in 2010), Drake (18), T.I. (19), Rick Ross (18), and you have a whole lot of repeat offenders on the major releases of 2010. I'm not talking down about their talent, as Ludacris specifically is the best guest rapper that anybody can hope for. He brings the type of reckless energy that a lot of songs honestly need, so whenever I read a news article about his latest endeavor, I tend not to worry about the quality as much as I do the quantity. No matter whom you are, if you spread yourself that creatively thin, you're bound to dilute your product, which is one of the main problems the music industry is facing these days. If everything sounds the same or you get a Nicki Minaj verse about 7-8 times a month, why should you buy more than a few albums?
Songs about how country you are: This generally extends to songs about how you're such-and-such of anything, but I used country because it's one of the most prominent examples. To me, if you brag about something, anything really, you're overcompensating. Those who are the most country/hip hop/charming ladies' men/intelligent don't go around telling you about it; instead of telling, they show. You don't hear George Strait or Lee Ann Womack insecurely name checking famous country musicians (Hank Williams and David Allan Coe seem to be popular but there's a lot of Johnny Cash references, as well) or giving you a list of their stereotypically country behaviors. You know they're country by what they sing and how they sing it, which is how music should be. Anytime someone is talking about little dirt roads, sweltering summer nights, pick-up trucks, Friday night football games, Jesus, farming/hauling hay, camouflage, huntin', etc., I don't find it to be terribly authentic. I don't think any of those are necessarily bad subjects, but the Nashville songwriting associated with every topic is always so damn lazy. Give a fresh spin to the most well worn topic and it can turn out to be wonderful, but the assembly line song production in country is just a mess.
Interludes: This one is with an asterisk, as I don't hate all interludes. If an album follows a set story with interludes that move said story along, I can understand that, though I more than likely will only cherry pick the songs and never listen to the interludes. My favorite types, and seemingly the rarest, are the interludes that serve as either unfinished songs or little bits of music between other songs; take, for example, Danity Kane. Their two albums had multiple interludes on them and instead of making them lame jokes or 10 second wastes of space, they put in mini-songs and helped move the album along. I think interludes bloat an album and make it painful to listen to as opposed to a joy; instead of a clear, taut collection of 12 songs that express a common vision, we get 22 songs and 10 interludes that seemed funny in the studio but don't translate to repeat listens. They bring the album to a complete stop as you wait for the next song to begin. If they're built into a song, it's completely infuriating; on Tamia's last studio album, there were two songs that crept in the 6 minute mark because of added on sections that are cute for all of one listen. After that, it's tedious to listen through, so keep your skip button finger handy. Something like, say, an end of the album remix also could fit into this category, as they very rarely hold any sort of artistic weight, serve only to get an extra guest on the record, and immediately interrupt whatever flow the album had.
Cookie cutter production - Ryan Tedder, Stargate, etc: Hey, you guys, do you want to play a game? Of course you do. Look up the following songs and tell me the difference, okay? Round #1: Kelly Clarkson Already Gone, Beyonce Halo, Jordin Sparks Battlefield, Leona Lewis Happy, and Kristinia DeBarge Speak Up. Okay, pencils down, kids. It's time for round #2: Beyonce Irreplaceable, Jordin Sparks Tattoo, Chris Brown With You, Rihanna Hate That I Love You, Mario Vazquez Gallery, Shontelle Impossible, and Trey Songz I Need a Girl. Alright, time's up. You want to know the difference between both groups of songs? There is none. Pop/r&b artists are like the movie industry - find one thing that works and reproduce/sequel-ize it until people want to bang their heads against the wall. It's moved from Tedder and the Norwegian duo to David Guetta and Red One recycling material to coincide with the current dance craze that seems to be invading popular music. I know every era has trends and I'm all for generating sales in an industry that has slowly been dying, but this is not the way to win new fans.
Poor treatment of women: There are six total women in the country top 20 this week and guess how many of them are solo? One. Taylor Swift (the other five come from Lady Antebellum, Little Big Town, The Band Perry, and Sugarland). How many solo men? 14. Country in particular seems to have a certain amount of spots for women and only a certain few women that they'll even give the time of day. Currently, it seems that Miranda Lambert, Carrie Underwood, and Taylor Swift are the golden girls of the genre, though Lambert has just recently gotten her radio mojo. Combine this with pop radio's seeming inability to embrace any female artist who doesn't dumb herself down or slut herself up and you have a really bad atmosphere for female musicians. There's still the issue of misogynistic lyrics (hello, Mike Posner), as well, so the amount of obstacles facing a female musician is pretty daunting. It may just be the current era we're in, but I personally miss the times of Lilith Fair's first incarnation, as the sudden resurgence of female singer-songwriters was not only refreshing but it gave my musical taste a much needed shot in the arm. Fingers crossed for a new revolution soon, y'all.
Blogs: I say this as a lover of juicy gossip, but blogs are bad for the music industry. None of the prominent blogs are even musically focused; they tend to keep the same rotating cast of characters in terms of who they cover, so it gets a little boring after a while. If they widened the scope of which they cover, I would be alright with them, but do we really need to know every move that these people make? If there's major career or personal life news, that's one thing, but pictures of somebody walking down the street are a bit much. That space could go to up-and-coming artists, older artists trying to make their comeback, or just something much more productive than commenting on baby bumps and outfits. I think it reinforces the idea that music is not important these days; as long as you're young enough, make poppy enough music, and have enough dirt in your personal life, your name will be out there. In addition, they keep people who are famous for doing absolutely nothing on the radar for far longer than they deserve it. They give people a sense of legitimacy that they really shouldn't have, so we have to endure countless comments about "haters" (my least favorite word of all time). Sigh.
"Buzz single"/pushbacks: Okay, let's keep this simple. If you release a single and it fails, it's your first single. I don't care what you call it; if you make a video and it gets pretty significant radio play, it's a single. Not a buzz single, not a promo single, it's a full-on single. Take the failure on the chin (everybody has poorly performing singles on their resumees, so it's no big deal) and keep it moving. I think promo singles/buzz singles do exist but not at the rate that most artists seem to label them. It only makes you look bad if you're unwilling to accept any responsibility for something failing. Album pushbacks are one of the reasons that the music industry is down; no, it's not on the same level as overpriced CDs and the rise of technology, but if you have no idea when the album is coming out, it's hard to know when to go to the store and buy it, y'know? Fortunately, I keep track of any updates so I'm never that lost, but if you're not sure when you're going to release something, don't give out a concrete release date. Pushing it back makes you look bad (as if you're losing your career) and, mostly importantly, incompetent; I much prefer no news and then hearing a fully set-up promotional plan with a 100% certain release date.
Twitter: Hi, my name is insomniac1587 and I...am a social networking addict. Yes, it's a sad but true fact; if it allows me to express every inane thought I could possibly have or reply to somebody with a funny .gif, I'm there with bells on. Livejournal, MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Last.fm: I have had ‘em all at one point in time or another. Shameful, I know. I do think social networking has wonderful positives for celebrities; it's a way to have direct contact with your fans, ensuring quick responses to new material and allowing you an unfiltered, very public forum to address speculation. It can also allow you to strip yourself down and reveal who you are away from the cameras, which can truly endear you to your fanbase. However, it can have ugly side effects. You can reveal yourself to be an overly sensitive prima donna who needs to get out of Hollywood for an hour, expose racist/sexist/homophobic tendencies that would not have been expressed during press conferences/carefully controlled interviews, or reveal yourself as just an unpleasant person whose image was pretty much a sham. You have to be careful to give the fans enough of a personal side of yourself to relate to more, but pull back enough and don't act too crazy.
There are the typical pretentious posers (Solange), obnoxious political junkies (Marc Broussard), the crazies (Tila Tequila), the idiots (Slim Thug), those who are too defensive and fulfill stereotypes (Miranda Lambert), neutered accounts controlled by publicists (Britney Spears), and self-appointed self-help gurus that inspire many an eye roll (Rev. Run, Diddy), but don't let those discourage you, my anxious little pop culture nerd. That group (and many...many more) may suck the fun out of the site and don't use it to their advantage, but there are several who I've grown to love simply from following their tweets. There are under the radar singers who just love living life (Melinda Doolittle), quirky girls who you want to make your best friend immediately (Julie Benz), people who reveal another side of themselves (Don Lemon), people who actually interact with their fans (Romany Malco), great ways to keep up with music news (RapUp), and truly inspiring individuals that are making a difference (Ryan Leslie). It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...
Is this a sign I'm getting old? Growing up? Or just smartening up? Either way, I'm over you and your immature nonsense. I'm over constantly feeling frustration over something that I used to eat, sleep, and breathe. I'm over being fed the same garbage year in and year out, expecting to either like it or go off on my own to do my own thing. I'm simply over you, music industry. Unless you straighten up and act right, I'm afraid our affair is over.
We'll always have Mariah.
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